Most Recent Issue

At about 2:30 on Friday morning I was in my living room playing Xbox Live. My roommate was in the dining room listening to the messages on his cell phone. The lights were off. Out of nowhere, my roommate and I hear the front door open up. We assume it must be our third roommate, or even a mutual friend. From my seat on the couch, I cannot see the door, so I wait to see what my roommate says. However, from my seat on the couch, I can see a beam of light from a flashlight peering around our home. It turns out, two police officers took it upon themselves to open our front door and let themselves in.
"Where's the noise coming from?" says cop number 1. I look at him like he has 8 heads growing out of his neck. And then I look around the room that I'm sitting in. For a moment, I gave him the benefit of the doubt, and physically twisted around in my seat searching for the noise he was talking about. Thankfully, I wasn't going too crazy, the room was still empty.
I reply to him "Uh................" Followed by awkard silence. I look at my roommate. He looks back and shrugs. Dumbfounded. More awkard silence.
"There are tenants that live upstairs on the second floor. And on the third floor." It was all the response I could muster. I was completely caught off guard by the presense of two cops in my home. He looks at me and points his flashlight to the ceiling.
"You don't hear that noise?" blurts the cops in a "you must be deaf" sort of way. I look at the ceiling and tell him plainly, "...........No. I didn't even notice." He follows with another question.
"Well how do you get upstairs?" he asks.
"There's a doorbell for the 2nd and 3rd floors outside," I respond. The officer refutes me.
"Well there's gotta be some sort of back entrance to get there." He motions to the back of my house with his flashlight.
"Well yeah, but all you have to do is ring the doorbell. They'll come down and let you in." I'm practically spoonfeeding him his own protocol at this point. Again, he refutes my point.
"Where's the back stairwell? There's gotta be a back stairwell." Finally my roommate interjects.
"Officers, I don't mean to be rude. But it's not really our position to let you up those stairs. We use them [the stairs] every once in a while, but my roommate already told you guys how to get upstairs. We're not trying to cause any problems. We just don't feel right doing it."
At this point, the officers realized the situation. But not before peering around our apartment once more with flashlights ablazing. Like any professional employee of the state, one of the officers makes sure to leave us with a comment to think about as he exits.
"It doesn't matter. We're just gonna tell them that you guys called in the noise complaint anyway." More awkward silence. Dumbfounded. Stunned. Awestruck. Violated. Paralyzed by absurdity. We didn't know what to feel.

How can they get away with this? This story was not fabricated (nor did it need to be) in any way. When I told my friends about this, we started to brainstorm about all the things wrong with that situation. A boatload of "What if" scenarios were discovered.
1.) What if you were having sex with your girlfriend?
2.) What if you smoking pot?
3.) What if you were sleeping?
4.) What if you were just cleaning the house naked for no reason?

Although some of the "What if" scenarios were absurd, they are all still plausible, and very embarrassing. What is going to have to happen for college kids to have their right as a homeowner enforced?